PIMA Chronicles #8: Living the Single Life!

May 4th, 2011  |  by Veralyn Williams |  Published in Blog, Fiction Writing

I know it’s been a while, but things have really been quiet on this end. I haven’t had any reason to be extra Pima-ish these days. Which goes to show you that “pains” are caused, not inherent. Remove the cause… you stop the pain.

Lately what I’ve been doing is just dating. And honestly I’m having the best time!

The actual “meeting new people” part has been interesting. I’ve taken to online dating… So I’ve been going through profiles. Rating guys. Answering questions. And weeding out the perverts. Yes I said perverts!

Like this one guy who messaged me. We went back and forth and he seemed normal. I asked him his age- he’s 37. And honestly that did not make me run- I’ve done a 9-year age gap before… so what’s 3 more years… right?… And then he asked me my age. I tell him 25. And do you know what this grown man messaged back to me?

“Oh. From your picture I thought you were younger then that.”

I asked him how old he thought I was and he said: “21 at the most.”

To say the least I was completely creeped out! Not just because he was going after a girl he thought was 21, but because he seemed disappointed that I was older. I quickly blocked him from seeing my page any further.

Then there are the guys that “wink” at you… They have a cute picture, but when you look at their profile you see things like the following… a guy listed under “The six things I could never do without” section:
my ipod

computer
porn dvds
porn down loads lmao!
my mother
my family

Ok first of all… I don’t have a problem with guys who like to watch porn. I wont even judge that it’s on a list called: The six things I could NEVER do without… but does he really need the dvds and the downloads? And wouldn’t “the downloads” happen anyway via the computer that he needs? Is he not smart enough to figure that out? Call me judgmental, but he also went to the “blocked” list.

Those are the horror stories, but overall I enjoy messaging back and forth with seemingly great guys. I did initially though, feel the process was very time consuming for the payoff: a 2-hour coffee date after weeks of talking online. Just to realize he says, “Word to everything I love” – after every sentence.

So I decided to cut the messaging portion short and just start meeting up with people. A little scary- Yes, but it’s been fun!

And I’ve been smart about it. I always meet in a public place. Early in the day. And I always try to plan something either during lunch (so I have to go back to work), or before dinner with a friend. Something where I’m expected to be somewhere else after.

So… no life-altering dramas to report this time… I’m just living the single life!

**PIMA is an Alter-Ego that represents multiple conversations**

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    janetmock:

    My new essay explores how Beyonce’s feminist stance in pop culture helped frame my own feminist awakening:

    "I am in my 30s and was emboldened by Beyonce’s feminist stance on that stage, and can’t help but believe that that image will be equally as powerful to young people who witness that moment, whose first engagement with feminism will be that moment. Maybe, just maybe, Beyonce will serve as the bridgebetween pop culture and feminists like bell and Barbara and Audre, maybe some young woman bobbing her head to ‘Blow’ or ‘Partition’ or ‘Flawless’ will do so while reading Ain’t I A Woman? or Homegirls or Sister Outsider.”

    —FROM my new essay: My Feminist Awakening & the Influence of Beyonce’s Pop Culture Declaration



  • A friend who just graduated and going through the “I can’t find a job in my field” blues asked me for advice. I directed her to where I went for inspiration when I was going through the same thing. I still play this Will Smith video every time I doubt my purpose. Here is the full list I sent her.


  • Conversations by the pool

    Met two women from Toronto by the pool. After we exchanged pleasantries for a bit, they asked about #Ferguson— they’ve been watching news about it all week, they said. I told them about #EricGarner (they hadn’t heard about him). They informed me someone else was killed by police in St Louie last night (need to fact check that). We bonded in our frustration and helplessness as the Costa Rican sun hit our face. They said they hoped this moment was our generations civil rights movement. I agreed, then got up to get a drink.


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