PIMA Chronicles #9: “Summer” Fling or Not

August 16th, 2011  |  by Veralyn Williams |  Published in Blog, Fiction Writing



“Are you bringing “Summer” tomorrow?”

Summer, is what my girlfriends call the new guy in my life. Why you ask? Because they’re expecting him to just be a summer fling. And they may be right.

Now ordinarily (especially after my last non-relationship) I wouldn’t waste time with a guy I wasn’t sure about committing to, but Summer is super funny, he’s very easy on the eyes, a real man’s man, and great “company”… but he’s a little hood…

Now don’t get me wrong. I grew up in the BX. I’m secretly a die-hard DMX fan. And my ex definitely had a hood-ish swag to him. But I like my “hood” more Stringer Bell then Avon Barksdale (a la “The Wire”).

And I don’t mean I feel I’m going to get shot when I’m with him or anything like that– it’s more in the values department.

For one: He curses too much and I feel like the potty-mouth police every time he’s telling me a story– literally every other word is “B” this and “N” that… I can’t! And what’s sad is he really can’t help it because I do see him trying at times… So I encourage as little talking as possible… lol

Two: He’s one of those guys that are always trying to get over and “beat the system”… We went to the movies once and after he bought our tickets, we were about 25 mins early for our movie. And though I clearly did not want to (I say clearly because I said: “No. I don’t want to”.) He insisted that we sneak into another movie that already started– just so we could watch 20 mins of it. “They expect you to do that” and “Who wants to wait out here”- were his arguments. He insisted to the point that if I didn’t go with him- it would have ruined our whole night #smh

And finally his friends. Good dudes for the most part- as far as I can tell, but I found myself in the ultimate #ComeOnSon moment, when I was hanging out with them. We were in Harlem on 125th street, and as we were walking, his friends’ little boy, who’s about 7 years old, needed to use the bathroom. So he said: “Daddy. I need to pee.” And his friend (with no hesitation What-So-Ever) said: “Go in phone booth.”

I was beside myself! Mind you, there was a Starbucks right across the street from where we were.

Now I’m not one to tell anyone how to raise his or her child. Especially telling a man how to raise his son– but really?? Your first instinct is– pee in the street son? And when I said something (because you know I did) Summer not only co-signed this, but both of them were acting like something was wrong with me… I CAN’T!

So with all this said you’re probably wondering: Why are you with him then? Well when he remembers I can’t take all the cursing—he makes me laugh constantly. He at least paid for the movie and sprung for popcorn too. And regardless of both of our crazy schedules- he makes sure we see each other. All things I definitely want in a man.

So the 80/20 rule is definitely at play here— I’m just trying to figure out which side is 80 and which is 20.

**PIMA is an Alter-Ego that represents multiple conversations**

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    janetmock:

    My new essay explores how Beyonce’s feminist stance in pop culture helped frame my own feminist awakening:

    "I am in my 30s and was emboldened by Beyonce’s feminist stance on that stage, and can’t help but believe that that image will be equally as powerful to young people who witness that moment, whose first engagement with feminism will be that moment. Maybe, just maybe, Beyonce will serve as the bridgebetween pop culture and feminists like bell and Barbara and Audre, maybe some young woman bobbing her head to ‘Blow’ or ‘Partition’ or ‘Flawless’ will do so while reading Ain’t I A Woman? or Homegirls or Sister Outsider.”

    —FROM my new essay: My Feminist Awakening & the Influence of Beyonce’s Pop Culture Declaration



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