3 Questions To Ponder When Dating Outside Your Religion

August 24th, 2011  |  by Veralyn Williams |  Published in Blog, Dating Chatter, Videos

Apparently bi-religious relationships are on the rise—at least in my circle. Doing a totally (un)scientific survey among my six best girlfriends (four Christian, one Muslim, and one that believes, well, nothing) I asked them: Would a guy’s religion ever prevent you from dating him? I was surprised when all of them say no. One of them added that the guy would have to convert, though, if they were going to get married. (There we go again thinking we can change a man—but that’s a blog post for another day.)

As I said in my latest vlog, “The Other Bi: Dating Between Religions,”as a Christian, I myself have stepped outside my religion and dated both a Muslim and an atheist.

In both situations, when the religion talk came up, it was clear that there would be some conflicts in our lifestyles and values.

For example, “the Muslim”—though he said he himself wanted only one wife—tried to explain to me one day why God allows men to marry more than one woman. He said something like: “A man can impregnate more than one woman, but a woman can only be pregnant by one man.” I didn’t date him for very long.

And “the atheist” (who grew up Catholic) just let me do my “Jesus thing” (as he called it)—but from afar. After he turned down a few invitations to go to church with me, I realized he REALLY was not interested.

During both of these relationships, I spent hours pondering what a future together may look like. So while doing interviews for my “The Other Bi” vlog, I got my interviewees’ thoughts on the three questions that had nagged me most in those hours.

1. What will we tell our children? – You know the hypothetical children I don’t even know if I actually want. What would we raise them to be? A question I’m sure ALL couples in mixed religious relationships have asked themselves. I asked my interviewee Valini what she and her then fiancé, now husband will do when they have kids.

2. What do you mean you don’t eat pork? – Ok I really wouldn’t ask any Muslim person this question, but it’s an example of – what’s normal to one person, may sound crazy to another person. Just like non-Christians may ask themselves: What do you mean you’re going to receive His body and blood? And unfortunately it’s very easy to get caught up in all the ways we are different- instead of exploring the ways we are the same. I asked my interviewee Peter how he’s tackled questions like this.

3. What’s going to happen when we die? – I know this is a little morbid. But yes- I’ve thought about this. Regardless of what you believe- I think every religion has their idea of what the afterlife is going to be like… And if we believe two different things does that mean we’re going to two different places? Or if I’m right and there is a heaven and hell—does that mean as a non-believer you going to… I asked my interviewee Adriel if he’s ever asked himself this question.

Have you ever been in a Bi-Religious relationship? Are you in one now? Did you
ask yourself any of the questions I did? Did you have questions of your own?

Originally written for SexReally.com 

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