Over my dating history I have come to realize that I am not very romantic. At least not in the way most of the movies and TV shows I watch tell me I should be. Don’t get me wrong—I am thoughtful, especially when it comes to giving gifts or planning a date… but when it comes to the mushy parts like holding hands, whispered I-love-yous, and candlelit dinners, I haven’t been able to make that leap often.
This flaw of mine has gone virtually unnoticed—and my theory on why? I’d say it’s because I’m female and African. I’ll explain.
…because I’m female!
As my latest vlog (above) shows, guys get way more pressure to be romantic than women do. It’s like it’s expected that women already have romance in our blood or something. Romance is equated with love, which is equated with affection… all things we’re supposed to get from our mothers and therefore have as woman. So… apparently men have to prove they can match our natural-born romantic tendencies.
…because I’m African!
The first place a child feels love and affection (in a perfect world) is from their parents, but the way “love” is expressed is different in different cultures. Based on a conversation with my dad and my sister, I realized that the reserved way my Sierra Leonean parents showed their love definitely shaped my ability to be romantic. They both agreed…
Like my sister points out during my interview with her, communication is everything! That and being open to trying romance—even if it’s just to make the person you’re with happy. And luckily for (the future) him, I’m up for both.
*Check out the vlog that got me thinking about this subject: What is Romance?
Originally posted over at Bedsider on 3/15/12.
