PIMA Chronicles #14: Really though…

June 20th, 2013  |  by Veralyn Williams |  Published in Blog, Fiction Writing  |  3 Comments

After my very-sad-day getting my IUD removed, I was writing about my experience at Planned Parenthood… trying to sort through a conversation I overheard in the waiting room, while also talking about my new birth control plan… but that post will have to wait until tomorrow. Something else needs to be addressed… and PIMA needs to address it:

It has come to my attention that my Ex’s baby mama is an avid Veralyn Media reader. She’s even taken to producing audiobook editions of my posts… well at least for an audience of one… my Ex. Now ordinarily, I’d be grateful to find out I have such an invested reader, and I really don’t mind (care) that she’s reading (it is the internet after all) … but did this a**hole (my Ex) really just call to ask me about something she read to him??… Oh wait he didn’t call… he sent me an email.

Here I was taking a break from writing. Reading some HILARIOUS #paulasbestdishes tweets, and I see after months of absolutely no communication, I have an email from him. [For the purposes of this post his name will be: ReallyThough.]

from: ReallyThough
to: PIMA
date: Wed, Jun 19, 2013 at 11:43 PM
subject: IMPORTANT
message: I need to speak with you its important please contact me at this #XXX-XXX-XXXX

After recovering from that immediate sinking feeling you get when you see the name of someone you “used to know”… someone who’s name popping up in you inbox, used to bring you so much joy, but who now only serves to throw you off your game entirely… (Yes that feeling)… I reply nonchalantly:

from: PIMA
to: ReallyThough
date: Wed, Jun 19, 2013 at 11:47 PM
subject: Re: IMPORTANT
message: My number hasn’t changed… call me.

I was very proud of the way I threw the ball back in his court. He replied:

from: ReallyThough
to: PIMA
date: Wed, Jun 19, 2013 at 11:52 PM
subject: Re: IMPORTANT
message: I ask for a reason.

So I call. Worse decision ever! He starts to tell me how he lost his phone and all his contacts and how surprised he is I didn’t try and call him. As for me, I said nothing. I just listened. And after his super-unnecessary-excuse-rant… I proceed to cut to the chase.

Me: Oh ok, so you just wanted to connect again? You should have wrote that in the email.
ReallyThough: Nah also wanted to talk to you about something D**a said… I know you two talk from time to time.
Me: Talk??!! We don’t talk.
ReallyThough: Well you used to…
Me: Not since we broke up… Why would we still talk? I don’t talk to you?
ReallyThough: She’s still keeps up with what you write…
Me: On my blog?
ReallyThough: Yea. She feels the need…
Me: And you’re telling me this because?
ReallyThough: She told me about your skin…

By this point I was besides myself… literally. I was watching myself have this conversation in horror! I should have hung up, but I didn’t. Second worse decision ever.

Me: What did she tell you?
ReallyThough: She was reading me everything you were going through, and I thought I’d talk to the source.
Me: You didn’t read it for yourself?
ReallyThough: [Some BS about wanting to talk to me about it instead.]
Me: Well what did she tell you?
ReallyThough: Of course she focused on the negative.
Me: Negative?

Apparently she left him with the impression that I had some sort of STD or contagious desease. [Side note: Please read for yourself the blog post in question.]

Me: This is why you wanted me to call you?
ReallyThough: Blah, blah, blah

By this point I was beyond angry, I was hurt. He basically called to confront me about his own health risk. I was being knocked off of my center, my routine, my night… all to be shamed by an Ex I haven’t even talked to in months… because the mother of his children, read him bits and pieces from my blog? It was time to nip this s*it in the bud.

I ran down the facts to him: After a long process, I was diagnosed with Subcorneal Pustular Dermatosis (prefer hitting people with that instead of: IGA Pemphigus), its an autoimmune condition, and to prevent it from coming back I have to watch what I eat.

ReallyThough: Ok. She was talking about scabies and herpes.
Me: Is there anything else?
ReallyThough: What’s the matter?
Me: You ruined my night that’s all.
ReallyThough: Ruined your night…
Me: Good night.

I finally hung up. He sent another email:

from: ReallyThough
to: PIMA
date: Thu, Jun 20, 2013 at 12:15 AM
subject: Re: IMPORTANT
message: Not my intention. But yeah have a goodnight. Was nice to hear from you until you said I ruined your night.

Is it me? Did I overacting? Should I not be as angry (yes I’ve gone back to just being angry)- as I am now? I get that by putting my stories out in the universe, I am opening up myself to anything. And because we were together, (maybe) he feels like what I choose to talk about, reflects on him…?? (As PIMA, I am doing my best to channel Veralyn’s “all about perspective” attitude.)

But really though… this is what we call in Krio, “bell ful talk” — meaning the unnecessary conversations people have after eating too much. I mean that’s the only explanation right?

Clearly I am annoyed with HIM. And HE has just hit the final nail on the “maybe we’ll be friends one day” coffin. But since I know she’s reading, I must take a moment and think about the motivation of “baby mama.” Why use my words to slander my name to a man, she clearly has to spend time with… and I don’t even talk to? Why am I still a topic of conversation at all?

Oh how I hate that I just spent 2 hours on this post… I’m all done now!

  • DinaLineth

    daaaaaaaaamn! she clearly did not read that post carefully. you clearly talked about your diagnosis and how herpes was out of the question. people need to go back to grade school and learn how to read! and i hope she reads this too!

    GET AT ME SON! LOL…….nah but for real though…grow up

  • Anonymous

    She purposefully read the post WRONG to him to get this exact conversation started. She wanted to stir the pot. If she’s reading this- her non-reading ass and his dum dum self can come for me. I’m ready to take my earrings off. This is why dudes with baby mothers don’t get no play (mind you, I didn’t say men who are separated from their child’s mother). Crazy baby mothers and the imaginary umbilical cord from their kids to the dudes neck and the dudes who crave the attention and wear the cord as a necktie… they can have each other.

  • DinaLineth

    I like you. I want to meet you one day and talk over wine

Video Feature

Archives

Tweets by @VeralynMedia

SaloneTiti.com (Tumblr)

  • photo from Tumblr

    janetmock:

    My new essay explores how Beyonce’s feminist stance in pop culture helped frame my own feminist awakening:

    "I am in my 30s and was emboldened by Beyonce’s feminist stance on that stage, and can’t help but believe that that image will be equally as powerful to young people who witness that moment, whose first engagement with feminism will be that moment. Maybe, just maybe, Beyonce will serve as the bridgebetween pop culture and feminists like bell and Barbara and Audre, maybe some young woman bobbing her head to ‘Blow’ or ‘Partition’ or ‘Flawless’ will do so while reading Ain’t I A Woman? or Homegirls or Sister Outsider.”

    —FROM my new essay: My Feminist Awakening & the Influence of Beyonce’s Pop Culture Declaration



  • A friend who just graduated and going through the “I can’t find a job in my field” blues asked me for advice. I directed her to where I went for inspiration when I was going through the same thing. I still play this Will Smith video every time I doubt my purpose. Here is the full list I sent her.


  • Conversations by the pool

    Met two women from Toronto by the pool. After we exchanged pleasantries for a bit, they asked about #Ferguson— they’ve been watching news about it all week, they said. I told them about #EricGarner (they hadn’t heard about him). They informed me someone else was killed by police in St Louie last night (need to fact check that). We bonded in our frustration and helplessness as the Costa Rican sun hit our face. They said they hoped this moment was our generations civil rights movement. I agreed, then got up to get a drink.


Instagram: Ms. Veralyn

Podcast