Last Thursday, ImageNation Cinema and the Film Society of Lincoln Center gave NYC the first East Coast look at award-winning film, Better Mus’ Come. Having played at Los Angeles’ Pan-African Film Festival just a few days before, it was only the second American screening of the movie, becoming known as the best film out of Jamaica since, The Harder They Come. The film is a fictionalized dramatization of the historical events, leading up to the Green Bay Massacre, where 5 Jamaica Labour Party supporters were ambushed and killed by the the Jamaican Government. There are many reasons to go see this film, but here are 5:

1. The History Lesson: The Cold War is an event we all know from American History, but we rarely hear how this political war lead by America and the Soviet Union, effected the rest of the world. This film gives us an inside look at the very real impact this war had in Jamaica. Here is, Better Mus’ Come Director, Storm Saulter talking about why depicting this moment in history was important:

2. A Jamaican Community Represented: Don’t you hate when you go see a movie about a particular nationality or country and most of the actors (especially the main characters) aren’t even from there? (See Blood Diamond and Prince of Persia) Well you wont get that from, Better Mus’ Come:

3. The Hot Lead Actors: Sheldon Shepherd, who played Ricky, and Nicole Sky Grey, who played Kemala, are not only amazing actors, they were a pleasure to watch! Their on screen chemistry was intense. And whether they were smiling, screaming at, or kissing each other you felt it. (Sidebar to men-lovers everywhere: You will not be disappointed by Mr. Shepherd’s… attributes at all… Made me consider leaving Idris.)

4. The Authenticity: During the screening it was clear the audience was full of Caribbean born folks- who could relate to what they were seeing and hearing. Little things like Ricky lighting a gas lamp or him having to get water from the ocean– got huge responses. And you could tell it was because the audience recognized that experience. According to LargeUp.com’s Sherman Escoffery, this film gets a lot of other things right too:

5. Great Story and Great Cinematography: At the end of the day we all want to enjoy ourselves when we see a movie, and that involves getting the basics right: The story. The picture. Both those things are on point with, Better Mus’ Come.

Want to see this film? Will post showtimes as soon as they’re available!

Originally posted over at Bedsider on 2/14/12.

Today is my first Valentine’s Day without any guy in my life—because, for the first time in my adult life, I am truly single. This may come as a shock to many people who know me and know that I haven’t been in a relationship in years, but truth be told there was always someone in the the sidelines. There was the guy I fell in love with who couldn’t commit. The guy who fell in love with me, but who (for a lot of reasons) I could only stand for a summer. And of course “The Ex,” who always found a way to wiggle his way back into my life and my bed. But this year I have systematically cut all that extra baggage out of my life. (And I’m talking “changed my number” cut.)

So this is the part where I’m supposed to say how empowering this is and how much I’m finally getting to know the “real” me. And yes—those things are true. But I also get lonely. And as I mourn the passing of the voice of my generation, Whitney Houston, my playlist is NOT helping!

Sunday night, after watching the Grammys with some girlfriends, I came home and listened to Whitney’s “Why Does It Hurt So Bad”:

Why does it hurt so bad / Why do I feel so sad / Thought I was over you / But I keep crying / When I don’t love you

With the emotional mess I was over losing one of my icons and this V-Day looming over me, it was so tempting to justify “making a call.” But, in the words of Whitney, I didn’t know my own strength. It took admitting I was actually sad about not having anyone to cuddle with that night for me to understand that strength.

Don’t know where I first heard the saying “I’m alone, but I’m not lonely”—it was probably on an episode of Living Single back in the day—but it’s always stuck with me. So every time I was alone and got lonely I would make a call… (Or, more likely, send a text.) Nothing explicit. Just a “Hey…” that would inevitably set into motion a duologue that would lead me down an oh-too-familiar road to nowhere.

This time I didn’t call anyone. Instead, I just admitted to myself that I was lonely. And I reflected on all the reasons why: mourning Whitney, very cold night, watching LL Cool J host the Grammys… I cried, slept, and woke up grateful I was alone and didn’t have to start all over in the “unpacking my baggage” department.

And because I’m finally really rid of the men from my past, hopefully there will be room for a new man in my future. Until then I’ll be dating, armed with some lessons I’ve picked up from interviewing folks on dating, relationships, and sex. Take a look at what I’ve learned and share your own advice.

Whenever you have a dream, you will always have events or people in your life that will try and derail your focus. And for most of us, the number one person holding us back, is ourselves. Trust me- I know first hand. As a woman working to make my mark in media- I sometimes question my decision to not just go back into finance and be an accountant. Lord knows my bank account would be a lot happier if I did. But then I am reminded of how much fuller my life is now- because I’m perusing something I love to do.

But as much as I would like to say I came to this realization on my own- I can not. There are a few videos- made by my mentors (in my head)- that not only inspire me, but I use them as career affirmations constantly. I also find myself sharing them with friends and family members, who are struggling with their career or a direction for their lives… so I thought I’d share them with my VM family as-well.

1. Will Smith Shares His Secrets of Success

Affirmation: “There’s no reason to have a plan B, because it distracts from plan A.”

2. Oprah Tells How She Used The Secret

Affirmation: “The way you think- creates a reality for yourself.”

3. Eric Thomas: How Bad Do You Want Success

Affirmation: “Don’t cry to give up. Cry to keep going.”

4. Amy DuBois Barnett, Book: Get Yours!

Affirmation: “Embrace fear as growth.”

Click to watch video on her site:

5. Tyler Perry: “How to be Successful” (New Addition)

Affirmation: “All you can do is plant your seed in the ground, water it, and believe.”

Hope you are inspired as much as I am by these folks!

Like a lot of children who come from Christian families, growing up I spent every Sunday morning in church. My grandmother belonged to a Baptist church and therefore– so did my sister and I. Week after week we sat in the same pew, me and my sister separated by my grandmother, in an effort to prevent us from acting up. And I remember longing for the minute they’d call all the kids up to the altar, so we can line up- before heading downstairs for Sunday school.

It wasn’t until I was about 14 years old that I really enjoyed going to church. And I felt that– “the preacher is talking to me” –tingle. And one day as the Pastor was preaching- I heard him say what, at that point, I’d heard him say a thousand times: “If you feel God in your heart and you need a church home today. Please come forward”… And on this day tears started rolling down my face. I rose to my feet, scoot past my grandmother, and somehow I was at the altar. That was the moment for me when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior.

Two years later I was confirmed in a Methodist church, and since then I have taken Holy Communion for the forgiveness of my sins- more times than I can count. But as I’ve gotten older (I’m 26 now), there are two things I now question:

One is going to church every Sunday. Lately it feels like going to church for me, is slipping back to the old routine of my childhood…

Continue reading on So Divine Magazine why I’m confused about what being a christian means today.

One person that echos a lot of my concerns is Jefferson Bethke, 22, who wrote a poem called: “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus”

Jefferson on Church: “It’s not a museum for good people- It’s a hospital for the broken / Which means I don’t have to hide my failure. I don’t have to hide my sin. / Because it doesn’t depend on me. It depends on HIM.”

Thoughts?

Originally written for Turnstyle News.

It had been 25 years since my mom, Lois Williams, saw Freetown, Sierra Leone: the place she was born and raised, schooled, married, and had me, her first of three children. My parents left Sierra Leone in 1986, five years before the official start to the 11 year civil war that killed more than 50,000 people, and displaced more than half of the population (2.5 million were displaced internally and externally).

According to my mom, right before they decided to go, things were slowly becoming more and more difficult. “Everything was starting to get rationed,” she said. “You’ll go to buy two bags of rice and they’ll only sell you one.”

The economic hardship my mother faced, coupled with the civil war in Sierra Leone, is what made her leave for good. And her economic hardship in America, plus and the high cost of visiting Sierra Leone, is what has kept her away since she got her green card in 2005. What finally motivated her to definitely go this year was the fact that I was traveling there for a third time.

I arrived in Sierra Leone a day before my parents and met them at the Pelican Water Taxi, which is one of the few ways to get from Lungi (where the airport is) to Freetown, the capital.

It was inevitable that my mother would compare Sierra Leone today to the Sierra Leone she knew 25 years ago. Driving around Freetown for the first time, the following day, my mother said, “Eh Salone. Ow kontri kin go beyen. Na dat ar nor no.” (“Eh Sierra Leone. How a country can go backwards. That’s what I don’t know.”)

While I’ve grown accustomed to the bumpiness and dustiness of the streets in Freetown since my initial visits, my mom was shocked by it. Traveling down the street where my mother grew up she explained, “All ya been paved.” (All of this was paved.) She also said the streets looked a lot smaller than she remembered. And areas she said used to be “posh areas” were now overcrowded with people and pan body houses, which are made from sheets of zinc and cardboard. During the war, thousands of refugees migrated to Freetown, increasing a population of 800,000 in 1995 to 1.8 million in 2003.

Seeing Sierra Leone through my mother’s eyes was painful. It was like she was questioning her memories and asking herself: Could Sierra Leone really have deteriorated this much? Or has living in America for so long affected my sensibilities? Personally, I think it’s a little bit of both. Yes things were hard before she left the country; that’s why she moved to America. But no one expects to return after 25 years to find one’s country worse than when you left.

From the back seat of the car I watched my mother stare out the window as we drove down Siaka Stevens Street. And every now and then a random, “Eh God” or “Eh Bo” would almost involuntarily come out of her mouth. Point blank: she was disappointed.

I, on the other hand, actually saw some improvements in the country since my previous visit. A street known as Wilkinson Road, which is like Broadway Ave in NYC is newly paved, and has been widened from two to four lanes. Also, neighborhoods without electricity before were now flickering with energy nearly 24/7.

Before this trip, during the tough times, my mom would make comments along the lines of, “One day I’m just going to pack up and go to Salone” (Sierra Leone). I now wonder if I’ll hear those words from her again. Now she knows going back means giving up some of the things we take for granted here in the U.S. like readily available drinkable water, being able to call 911 for an emergency, and shopping malls.

I asked her if she would ever move back, and she said, “maybe when I retire.” My gut tells me that both she and Sierra Leone have changed too much.

See photo gallery of this trip on Turnstyle News.

When you’re single and travel as much as I do, dating while away does not seem like a choice, but a necessity. When I’m in NYC (home)—between work, family, and friends—it’s hard to give 100% to getting to know someone new. But when I’m away, “getting to know” everything about where I’m visiting is exactly the point. But there are a few tips I’ve picked up along the way for making this work.

1. Smile: Don’t walk around with a grimace on you face and expect a stranger to be open to talking to you. You have to be inviting, and the simplest way to do that is just to smile. Of course you have to also be okay with getting approached on the beach, in a museum, or on the National Mall (if you’re in D.C.)—but as long as the pick-up line is on point, why not?

2. Try new things: Lets say you meet someone new or reconnect with a cute acquaintance who offers to show you a good time—please go into it with an open mind. Don’t go somewhere new just to eat and do the same things you would back home. For example, anyone that knows me knows I like Hip Hop, Reggae, and Calypso clubs. But when I was in Oakland, I was invited to the re-opening of a beloved House music party called “Brothers and Sisters.” I went and I had an AMAZING time!

3. Have fun, but don’t throw caution to the wind: So I know I just said to be open-minded, but that doesn’t necessarily mean going home with a stranger after getting drunk at a bar. Be safe and follow your intuition. I was once in a city where the train stopped after a certain time, and if I continued partying where I was, I would have had to either stay with the guy I was with or take a bus that even the locals avoided. My gut told me to catch that last train—and so I did.

Read my last 2 Tips over at Bedsider!

Also remember where you go can influence your dating experience while you’re away. That is definitely true when visiting Sierra Leone. See what dating while on vacation there is like:

She responded:

I think the way that race is presented on TV has kind of put us in this situation because for so many Caucasians – and not just Caucasian- Americans, all backgrounds – a lot of times we gain our knowledge from TV. And so we say oh, well, black girls on TV act like X, Y and Z. But you don’t. That’s so weird. What is that about? So for me at least as an actress-comedian, I have found that when I sometimes go on auditions or I get pitches for parts I say that’s not me. So that’s what I try to do with my content online. I try to show who I am, but I try to show something that people will enjoy because they can relate to me.

Exactly! And I for one am ecstatic that YouTube is giving people the opportunity to relay their experiences with each other– even if it’s through a mantra that’s becoming monotonous. As long as its specific, honest, relatable, and (frankly) good picture/sound quality then I say put it out there– and let the debate, on whether the video holds any truth, happen in the comments section.

Do you agree with me and feel these videos should continue? Or do you think these videos are offensive and people should stop making them?

Imagine. Its you’re first full day in Sierra Leone. You’re laying pool-side. Sun is all around you. Water is glistening in front of you. Adele is soothing your soul, “We could of had it all…”

And then… “WAAAAHH!!!” A baby decides to not only shatter the moment, but your entire piece of mind.

Now usually, I’d shoot a dirty look to the inconsiderate person that decided to bring a noisy baby to a private pool, on the same day I decided to come to relax– but this baby came with me. Or should I say came with my Aunt, who was part of my entourage. So I’m guilty by association. *Sigh*

Here’s the thing. My entire family decided to come together for a family reunion/vacation. And my Aunt who recently acquired a one-year-old, brought him too. Now I love my little cousin, and I was looking forward to meeting him on this trip, but I soon realized he is NOT the chill-by-the-pool-and-zone-out-kind-of-dude. In fact our 3 weeks together proved that he’s not the sit-ANYWHERE-and-chill-kind-of-dude.

And while the feminist in me screamed: “She (my aunt) deserves a vacation too!”

The child-less girl in her 20′s, that paid almost $2000 for her plane ticket screamed back: She might, but it should have been a vacation away from the crying baby!

I understand childcare is an issue, so I get it. Where she goes. He goes. And lets say its a given that she had to come… (She is family after all)… What responsibility did she (or people who travel with kids in general) have to ensure her child did not impede on the sanity of those around, who are child-less? Or was it my responsibility as a good niece/cousin to snap out of my Adele-trance and help give my aunt a break?

Well lets just say I had many “to help or not to help” moments throughout our time together, and I must say I’ve never been so grateful for my IUD!

As much as I like to travel, before this trip I probably would have done what my aunt did, and bring my baby along. But after seeing her try to handle a constantly crying baby– who was probably just frustrated by the sudden abundance of heat he was experiencing– I know now I need to see the rest of West Africa, the art scene in Berlin, do the holy land tour in Israel, the food tour in Spain, carnival in Trinidad, and ride the trains in Japan before I even consider a baby of my own.

I just came back from spending 3 weeks in Sierra Leone for the holidays, and my feet have not recovered from all the dancing I did while I was there. One thing I LOVE about Sierra Leoneans (and most Africans in general) is we know how to have a good time! And I don’t care if it’s the club, a wedding reception, or a baby’s christening- everyone, young and old, is on the dance floor.

And at every party I attended, there were 5 songs every DJ knew to play. Songs I never heard before I landed in Sierra Leone, but they got me out of my seat every time, and I now know them word for word. Take a listen and thank me later:

1. Chop My Money, by P.Square

2. Oliver Twist, by D’Banj

3. Forver, by P.Square

4. Sex Machine, by Ruff N Smooth

5. Me Own Style, by Shady Baby

Honorable mention: Tutu Pati, by Emerson
This song has be reigning in Sierra Leone for over 5 years and it still brings everyone to the dance floor.

Now don’t you wish you were partying with me is Sierra Leone?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So with that in mind: When it comes to Love, Sex, and Relationships- What’s your plane for 2012? For some inspiration- in my last Bedsider vlog I get a few resolutions “on the record”… Including mine! Check them out: